Why is it that there is such a high rate of divorce in the US?
It seems that it is normal…I see a lot of profiles of older (over 30s) women who are divorced with kids.
I know a friend who is on the verge of divorcing (the wife’s fault) and what has come out is that both of them will feel free to date (definition=sleep with other people) again, and are actually looking forward to it!
This is so ‘funny, whateva happened to the institution of marriage in the US? Over half end up in divorces…..and it all seems normal. Why don’t people marry for real, instead of rushing and ending up in a divorce down the road. I know infidelity plays a big role in these break-ups.
I’ve heard of men who divorce and vow to sleep around till death, knowing well that he already has kids and just go around lying to other women….then dumps them for the next bus (sorry girls!)
Or are all these signs of a dysfunctional society??
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Tags: break ups, divorce, divorces, dysfunctional society, infidelity, institution of marriage, marriage, profiles, signs, sleep, sorry girls, ups, verge, vow, whateva
April 22nd, 2011 at 9:54 pm
Actually, I’ve read from more than one source that the divorce rate is miscalculated. In any given year, the number of marriages is double the number of divorces, and that’s where they come up with the rate of 50%. A more accurate way to measure the divorce rate is to count how many people have been divorced. In that case, the rate is closer to 25%.
Here’s a website I came across listing the divorce rate by religion:
http://www.religioustolerance.org/chr_dira.htm
As you can see, atheists have the lowest divorce rate. I think that could be because they don’t romanticize marriage like churches do. I’ve also heard a lot of wife beaters go to Christian singles groups because they’re more likely to find submissive women there.
Regarding American society, I think young people are not taught anything about how to conduct a marrriage. They’re expected to sneak around on dates, and engage in a bunch of illegal, naughty behavior (underage drinking, sex in cars, etc). In traditional Native American societies, marriage involved the whole family, and the partners often grew up together. Those marriages rarely ended in divorce.
April 22nd, 2011 at 9:54 pm
Yeah it is a real mess.
I don’t understand people who are not divorced yet but are already sleeping with other people!! Messed up huh?
April 22nd, 2011 at 9:54 pm
Marriage is a religious commitment. When atheists marry, for example, they don’t see it as part of an important moral commitment. It’s just like "going steady". People who do alcohol, crack, hookers, and porn don’t see marriage as an important moral commitment. Non-religious people don’t see that it’s important to look after their children. Divorce is a result of self-centered thinking, nothing more. "Me first", as they say.
April 22nd, 2011 at 9:54 pm
Today’s american wife is less likely to tolerate a man who abuses her, cheats on her, or is controlling to the point where she can’t breathe. Often she supports herself so it’s not nearly as easy to place her financially between a rock & hard place where HE is her only means of support…especially if he doesn;t work and SHE supports him…….which was something that my generation considered shamefull and very unmanly., unless the couple agrees that he will be the house husband and run the home and she be the bread winner.
I am talking about the lazy good-for -nothing that thinks women are to support their lazy @ss so they can hang about playing Play Station all day long and contribute NOTHING to the relationship, not even any ’sweat equity’ such as washing a dish, etc……like the stay at home wife was expected to do. Many will say ‘Well, what do I need him for"…..so in that case, you would expect to see a rise in divorce as women are not under their husband’s thumb as they used to be however that is NOT the only contributory factor here…
Today’s american male is less likely to respect and be his wife’s protector…..I am appalled at the young men of my children’s generation, so many of them think women are only on this earth for what they can get out of them.
Too many women sell themselves short by agreeing to ‘play house’ with the guy rather than say.." No ring, no living together " IF they get married, since there is less incentive to get marrried, marriage is not treated as ’special’ or sacred as it used to be viewed after all once you’ve lived together, getting married for many is just a formality and does NOT carry the emotional impact as it does for couples who wait until they marry to set up house.( I am NOT refering to sleeping together, just living together)
The social stigma of children born to unwed mothers is gone…ditto with couples who opt to live together because they believe in ‘test runs’.
So here again, another reason why marriage is not viewed as serious or sacred as it used to….it’s been devaluated to a ‘just a piece of paper’ status.
..and this attitude that if it doesn’t work out, we can always get divorced is one H@LL of a ‘tude’ to have. I believe it exists because why fight to repair something that isn’t really that important or special.
..and don;t tell me this hasn;t trickled down to the very act of getting married….now weddings have been reduced to the same level as birthday parties with couples using them as venues to ‘express one’s individuality’ or role-playing into fantasies rather than seeing it as the celebration of two people becoming one…marriage is serious business and the serious part has been replaced by ‘fun and games’ and ‘outdoing the next guy’s wedding’…
IMO, it’s many of my generation who are at fault….they have raised a generation of selfish, self indulgent adult brats who have NO CLUE as to what responsibility to one self is never mind where another is
concerned.
I fought for YEARS to keep my first marriage together…held it together for 22 years before HE walked out…not that he deserved my efforts but I did my best…it was a loosing situation…how many of the young folk divorcing today even put 1/2 of the effort I did into trying to save their marriage…..
Just terrible.
April 22nd, 2011 at 9:54 pm
There is not enough good premarital counseling.
Be careful of the radical feminists who cloak themselves in female independence.
Many segments of society see divorce as "normal." If you define divorce as the majority of America, then it is normal… That realization is a very sad fact.
There are many of us men who would rather keep our marriages… but find it hard when we have very few role models… and a court system which encourages divorce and is biased against the husband.
April 22nd, 2011 at 9:54 pm
I truly believe that the divorce rate is high because some people don’t believe or have the desire to be totally committed to their spouse. Some love to take marriage for granted and just want to play games. Others do it just for the heck of it. If they would take marriage seriously, then there would be fewer divorces happening and more marriages would succeed.