Comments on: Probably a beaten question but Infidelity in the home?

By: Nicole

Nicole — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 07:03:45 +0000

IDK, sounds fishy to me. But, from reading your last question too, your wife sounds like she has some major problems that would best be treated by a professional. All I can ask you is, how long to you really feel like beating your head against a wall trying to make this marriage work? Staying together for the kids rarely works and the kids do eventually grow up to an age where they see and hear all that is going on with their parents…which would you prefer as a child - growing up in a safe, secure, happy home or one where your mom is cheating on your father, drinking, partying, dropping you off with sitters, screaming, fighting, on and on and on. Why do people really think that "staying together for the kids" is ever a good idea when their relationships sink to this level?!

By: it'sjensworld

it'sjensworld — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 07:03:45 +0000

Jack, I’m sorry that you’re going through this. It does seem that all the signs point to her infidelity.

By: ouragon

ouragon — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 07:03:45 +0000

You need to use paragraphs.

You trust someone who is trustworthy. I trust my husband. He did tell me one small lie a year ago, and I knew it. Now he doesn’t lie. It’s so much simpler that way.

Your wife is obviously crossing boundaries. However, I would NEVER go to people I don’t even know for reports on my wife. What makes you think they’re telling the truth? And WHY would they be getting involved in your marriage? Their motives aren’t beneficial to you, I’m sure.

By: Me

Me — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 07:03:45 +0000

Sounds like you already know the answer. There are just too many people pointing fingers. If it was one or two, maybe you could believe they have something against your wife. But it sounds like the whole town is against her. You have a right to be skeptical.

Btw, just because a person cheats doesn’t mean they’ll feel bad about it or come clean when confronted. There are those who will still argue that they haven’t cheated even if you catch them in bed naked with another person. Trust me. I didn’t make that up.

By: Nadia

Nadia — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 07:03:45 +0000

How has YOUR relationship been with her? When it comes to emotional or phsyical relations, that might say a lot there too. If she seems detached and denies all this, then I would say there IS something there. I believe God gives us intuition for a reason too. Listen to your heart and try to capture the truth based on facts and not on others. Good luck - you’re doing great for our country!

By: Janet W

Janet W — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 07:03:45 +0000

Well I don’t think that people would be so mean and cruel to make this stuff up. I have a gut feeling that your wife can’t be trusted. Just remember that a cheater is also a liar so you can’t expect to hear the truth from your wife. But, it’s your decision and if your in the military and she all the sudden is "free and Single" when your deployed then she isn’t much of a wife anyway. Lack of commitment would be a hard foundation to base a marriage on. You might want to find someone that is willing to actually be a wife and trustworthy of your life.

By: smilewaitsyou

smilewaitsyou — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 07:03:45 +0000

Hello! Duh! Stop being in denial the woman is a cheater, stop trying to convince yourself she is not, take it or leave it! Have more dignity and respect for yourself and be a man and step up to the plate and don’t put up with her crap anymore.

By: mikewolcott

mikewolcott — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 07:03:45 +0000

This is a really hard call to make - esp. since you are not around to witness it. How do people feel about your wife? Do they like her? If she is not liked, then there is a possibility that people are trying to discredit your wife with infidelity - but with all the rumors and innuendoes flying about, I am sorry to say that there must be something going on. The fact that your wife seems to get defensive about it also suggests that there is something going on.

When you get home, you are going to have to see if your wife is going out frequently, and if she is even when you are home, then you know there must be something going on.

You may want to consider couples counseling when you get back in order to confront these issues and try to determine once and for all why people would say these things about your wife - the truth may come out in these sessions.

God bless you and good luck!

By: stupendous

stupendous — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 07:03:45 +0000

Whoa dude, sounds like you have a problem here, and I’m not quite sure you are going about it the right way. I know, I’m not in your situation so what do I know. First, anytime that you are separated for a long period of time, like the two of you were, it takes time to readjust, to reconnect, and to re-establish your love.

Now this has been complicated by your accusations and talking to others. Either you are going to believe your wife, whom you supposedly love and honor, or you are going to believe friends and acquaintances. You are probably now at the point where there is little or no intimacy between you, and not much conversation.

Here is what I suggest. Sit your wife down and the dining room table, hold her hand, and apologize to her. Tell her that you love her deeply, and are sorry for having any doubts about her. Tell her you want to wipe the slate clean, forget all that has happened in the past, and start fresh building your marriage. Discuss things, find out what you both want, and go from there. Even if she confesses something, find it inside yourself to forgive her.

One last thing, under NO circumstances ever, ever bring up the past again. When you stand up from the table, you leave all that behind and move on. Hoorah!

By: Jane Marple

Jane Marple — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 07:03:45 +0000

Your wife is living the life of a single woman. Clubs each night and associating with men she most likely sleeps with. She was not marriage material. You know in your heart if she’s capable of cheating or not. Personally just the fact she goes clubbing each night would be a big clue I am with the wrong person.