In a marriage, my thoughts are that the two people should share their financial information together. It’s not necessarily wrong that she opened her own account on her own, but the fact that she kept that information away from you is secretive, and oftentimes secrets lead to lies to cover up the secrets, which of course leads to more secrets and lies.

Consider the reasons she opened up her own account. Do you think maybe she has a habit of spending more money that you do? Does she spend more money on one thing and maybe you spend money on another? She might have created her own separate account to avoid spending your money on certain things, like clothes and other shopping things that possibly might make you upset if you saw in your joint account that she spent that much money.

If she has access to your e-mail but she doesn’t allow you in hers, then yeah, that’s a bad sign. I would most willingly let my b/f of years into *all* of my accounts and he could read every single one of my emails if he wanted to. Well, I guess I do have a friend that e-mails me her private thoughts and situations and that I would not want him to read just for the sake of keeping my friend’s trust, she trusts me that I am the only one reading her thoughts and I am not sharing it with anyone else, so maybe consider that too.

So I guess I can’t say either way, but she should have at least told you that she opened that account and why, whether it be to spend her own money on things you wouldn’t normally spend on or whatever else the case may be. She might have private e-mails from friends that she keeps confidential from others to keep their trust, but she might also be looking on the internet at things she shouldn’t be.

Trust your instincts. Look for signs of odd behavior, like if you ask her questions of where she was during the day, take notice of how she acts. If she fidgits a lot with her face or hair while talking, or blinks her eyes a lot when she is talking to you, well the eye-blinking is a sure sign of nervousness, and/or lying. It’s a psychological thing that people blink a lot when they are nervous or telling lies.

You need to have a serious talk with her. Good luck.

Or she might be trying to plan a vacation surprise for you without you knowing, hard to say. I would still ask.

You need to talk to her about it asap.