My wife is not happy and I am not sure what to do.?
My wife says she is unhappy but when I talk to her about it I don’t believe she is telling me the truth. She sometimes fabricates things which I think covers up for here real problems. We have fun with each other and we are on the same page for the most part but we seem to still bicker and argue quite a bit. I know she is unhappy with her job and we are trying to sell our home which is stressful for her. She is often in a bad mood and my temper only makes things worse. I try and try to control it but her bad attitude really does not help things. Our sex life is spotty at best and that really affects me as well. We love each other very much and there is no sign of infidelity. What has worked for some of you? We have been married for a short time but have been together for 7 years.
Mail this post
Tags: bad attitude, bad mood, infidelity, job, sex life, short time, telling me the truth, temper
October 25th, 2010 at 4:59 pm
First if she is unhappy with her job, can she not get a new one? That would help out greatly with her stress. Seems that the stress is the one factor in all of this, right? Well, some wommen cannot be sexual when they are stressed. Though it is a good stress reliever, sometimes it’s just too hard to get there. Try setting the mood just right. Dinner, a movie, maybe a bubble bath. Is selling the house being dealt with by the both of you? Why not hire a real estate person to take care of things for you? I know that means having to pay someone for it, but is it feesible? I think that since you guys still love each other very much, you will work things out. You will find a way and it will feel good to finally be done with the stress that has turned your lives around a bit.
October 25th, 2010 at 4:59 pm
It sounds like she is going through a lot right now. Women deal with stress a lot differently then men do. We tend to clam up and be alone or we become a B*TCH!!
You need to let her know that you realize her life is stressful right now and if there is anything you can do to ease the burden on her, to let you know. Maybe do something nice for her or bring her flowers. It’s always nice to know you’re loved.
Most of all, give her time. She will chill out….as soon as her life settles down a bit.
October 25th, 2010 at 4:59 pm
Hi! All you can do is pray for her, prayer opens the door for God to work in our lives, only God can change people……Jesus loves you
October 25th, 2010 at 4:59 pm
need more info..Her age/first marriage/kids/and does she ork outside the home..
October 25th, 2010 at 4:59 pm
You really need to confront her but in the nicest way possible. Make sure you make the point that this is a serious issue for you. Just please be gentle.
Good Luck!
October 25th, 2010 at 4:59 pm
Just love her through it. She’ll get there. Women can’t help but respond to unconditional love. Be there for her, call her during the day to cheer her up at work, try to take on more of the responsibility for the house, etc. When we moved I went through much of the same thing but the only thing that got me through it was that my husband was consistantly patient and supportive. He held me up when I felt at my lowest point.
October 25th, 2010 at 4:59 pm
when people are really not honest with themselves,it’s hard to be honest with others.When two people live together and express a love for one another,during these times is when you have the chance to grow the love or kill the love.Try to decide if you really want to solve the problem or if you are just talking.If you really want to find out the problems then find some alone time and put her in your arms and ask,what you can do to help a better atmosphere in your lives.Be willing to hear good and not so good and perhaps if you controlled your temper you could get some answers.
October 25th, 2010 at 4:59 pm
if she is stressed out then try and relieve her of some of her stresses. rub her feet or bring her flowers or ice cream. ooooo my favorite is when i get stressed out my man brings me like 10 snickers for me to eat as i please. but give her a little space yet try to be there for her. dont seem to pushy and try not to get angry cause that just pushes her further away. and as for sex life just tell her your ready when she is and be there for her pain dont make it worse. she’ll come around when shes ready, obviously she has alot on her mind and needs to think it through before she shares it with you.
October 25th, 2010 at 4:59 pm
Sex is a good barometer for the condition of your marriage. Since women are more relational, if the relationship isn’t good, neither will the sex be.
Ask you wife, on a scale of 1-10 where is the relationship? (men usually guess about a 7 and we’re normally 4 points too high. The woman’s estimate is usually more accurate so if she says it’s a 4, don’t freak). Then ask her what she thinks it would take to move it closer to 10. (again, don’t freak).
When it comes to your anger, remember "it’s not about you." When our desires turn into demands, it’s only a matter of time before real war and unhappiness starts. We begin to start punishing and judging our mate and that won’t work.
October 25th, 2010 at 4:59 pm
Stress and your reached the 7 year mark. Every 7 years you will go thru this and if you can get thru this you can be married forever. they also call it the 7 year ich.
October 25th, 2010 at 4:59 pm
She needs some time to evaluate what is going on in her life right now and put her priorities in their proper perspective. What is the most important to her right now must be taken into consideration. You both need to sit and have a good calm conversation, and get to the center of her main issues. The things that are bothering her the most must be satisfied first. Your sure of her love, so that is an important issue you can put to the sideline for the time being. Is selling the house an issue that is causing all of the stress? Ask her about that, and get a definite answer. If it is tell her not to worry about that, you can take the responsibility for that issue until the end of the selling, and you will discuss anything that comes up that is important. She is not too happy with her job, well that could definitely be the culprit. Someone is pushing her buttons at work and she doesn’t know how to cope with it. She doesn’t like the thought that someone who is her boss, and probably can put her on the spot and she propbably feels trapped there. Arguing is healthy in a good solid marriage, as long it doesn’t get too serious, and into a shouting match or become physical. Anger never controls anything, and bad tempers need to be controlled at all cost so that mountains aren’t created from little ant hills. Some people get so mad at each other they aren’t even coherent half of the time. 30 minutes after the arguementis over they don’t have the foggiest idea what caused the incident in the first place. You two have been together for seven years, so you should know each other pretty well by now. Don’t over react to something you have no control over. Get on the ball and discuss the problems, it’s always fun to make up. 52 years of married life gives me a little insight was works and what doesn’t. Good Luck to you both, and comunications is a good tool, but you have to learn how to use it. There is never a winner, so don’t try to be one. There is no I in team.
October 25th, 2010 at 4:59 pm
Does she have some close friend ? Perhaps you are not communicating so a real friend or family member can help to find out if she’s just stressed with work problems or any other problems. Perhaps she may be upset with you and men being men can’t understand it because we have short memories.
If you value your marriage, then put in some effort to stem this. Otherwise, it may get worse. Always try to view things from her side. Don’t just see from yours.