my bestfriend told me my husband made a pass at her. He said no. Both swear on God and my dead father.?
I don’t know who to believe? She was drunk but swears he came home drunk and while she was fixing the tv, he came behind her and kissed her neck. She swears on the right hand of God, he swears he came home and she was in bed and he didn’t drink. He shows no sign of infidelity, I’v been there and can see the signs. I don’t know who to believe, my bestfriend of 30yrs or husband of 2 who I Have felt I trusted to no end? She said yes, he said no, he never saw her. Neither will budge on swearing to God or on my dead Fathers grave or my daughters grave?????
Mail this post
Tags: bestfriend, hand of god, infidelity, right hand of god, signs
April 9th, 2010 at 9:55 pm
What was the point of your best friend of 30 years telling you about this incident? And, probably none of my business, but is she living with you and your husband on a permanent basis or was this just a vacation/visit?
Your marriage comes first even if you have known her longer. You made vows with this man. For the sake of your marriage (and the sake of your friendship), forget she every told you about this and tell her that you will no longer discuss it.
April 9th, 2010 at 9:55 pm
do it
April 9th, 2010 at 9:55 pm
Go with your gut instinct.
April 9th, 2010 at 9:55 pm
it’s just me, but i’d trust my friend of 30yrs. I’d let it go if he was drunk though. ppl make mistakes and if it happens again, u need to keep a watchful eye on him.
April 9th, 2010 at 9:55 pm
Have a threesome and git it ove with, The Go on JERRY!
April 9th, 2010 at 9:55 pm
I always wondered what I would do in a situation such as that. If your friend is telling the truth then have get your husband drunk and put her and him in the same situation, but you be (unknowingly to him) nearby to watch adn see what happens..or have her ask him about it.
April 9th, 2010 at 9:55 pm
if the 3 of you are living together you need to break that up! someone is lying.
April 9th, 2010 at 9:55 pm
Have you watched them while they was together? Most of the time you can tell by the look on his and her face. I had a friends husband make a pass at me in front of her. I choosed to ignore it and put it off as he was drinking and I now make sure im never alone with him.
April 9th, 2010 at 9:55 pm
have a threesome!
April 9th, 2010 at 9:55 pm
Buy a lie detector, or take them to a professional who knows how to use one.
April 9th, 2010 at 9:55 pm
don’t believe anyone. just let it pass. if something happens again, ask the morons on yahoo!answers to solve ur problems.
April 9th, 2010 at 9:55 pm
Let it go, but watch him very closely. If she was drinking…you really cannot trust her memory.
April 9th, 2010 at 9:55 pm
go with you friend she has a really nice butt! and your husband like it so much he wanted to try her out.guys lie all the time!
April 9th, 2010 at 9:55 pm
Believe your friend.
April 9th, 2010 at 9:55 pm
I think you should believe your friend. Think about it. Why would your best friend of 30 yrs. lie to you with something so serious? She knows that it could be the end of your friendship. I’ve been in a similiar situation and when I told my good friend, she dismissed it and stopped talking to me instead of her boyfriend. Last I heard, she had a baby with him and he cheats on her constantly while she’s at home taking care of their child.
April 9th, 2010 at 9:55 pm
Tell them both to drop the subject! Sometimes people dream weird things and the dream is so real they believe it happened. Both just could be telling the truth!
April 9th, 2010 at 9:55 pm
I’d wait and see if somethng else happens…I HAD a friend who made a pass at my boyfriend…NOW husband…she was "protecting me" when I know she was the biggest SLUT in town…He didn’t go near her..and TOLD me about it right away…Let’s see…he’s married to ME NOW and she’s NO LONGER MY FRIEND…
April 9th, 2010 at 9:55 pm
He was drunk? I believe her. She has no reason to lie. He does.
I’m a guy. I know guys.
April 9th, 2010 at 9:55 pm
Who has more to gain/lose by lying/telling the truth? Do either of them have a good reason to say that it happened the way they say it did? Is she mad at him for anything else? Why was she there to begin with? Where were you? Why was she fixing the television drunk? Why were they both drunk, maybe it started out as something they both decided to do and then she had second thoughts? If she is living with you she needs to move out no matter what happened.
April 9th, 2010 at 9:55 pm
You say your friend was drunk…..perhaps she dreamed this event happened?? She may have had one of those very "real" dreams like so many of us have had in our lives!
I would talk to your friend about the possibility of it being a dream. I would also trust that your husband is telling you the truth. Don’t let this misunderstanding (based apparently on a few too many drinks) cause you to lose your friend or your marriage!
April 9th, 2010 at 9:55 pm
You have to think now. Who do you trust more? Which one of them is more truthful? Obviously, one of the two is lying, and shouldn’t be in your life any longer. you just have to follow your heart, and trust your insticts.
April 9th, 2010 at 9:55 pm
if your best friend was drunk then she probably got things mixed up. however, if your housband is known for his drinking then you might want to investigate him too. has he ever lied to you? has she? why was your best friend staying there and fixing the tv. was it just because shes out of money? try and figure out who has more evidence for their case. (p.s. a lier usually doesnt look you in the eye and mumbles/ trials off)
April 9th, 2010 at 9:55 pm
Best friend of 30 years, she’s drunk, she claims.
Husband of 2 years, also drinks. They both swear.
If you don’t know who to believe then I feel you dont trust either. Bottomline. Two people you dont trust or you would know the answer.
April 9th, 2010 at 9:55 pm
is it possible he thought she was you when he supposedly came up behind her does she live with you guys i think if he were drunk and it did happen he would say he did it because he was drunk i mean really he would have to think that she would tell if he made a pass at her i think you better go with your gut on this one and check your friend i believe him and i dont even know you guys, but since no one is confessing let it go but keep your eyes open look for signs from both of them you never know friend or no friend she might want what you got.
April 9th, 2010 at 9:55 pm
has your friend ever lie to you before. you have know her for 30 years that is a long time. does she like your husband maybe she thinks he not good for you. let your heart answer the question.
April 9th, 2010 at 9:55 pm
i jusy read the q,i think ur husband is cheating u
April 9th, 2010 at 9:55 pm
Let me give you a little advice it’s up to you if you take it. DO NOT LET ANY OTHER WOMAN LIVE WITH YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND! I personally saw my brother leave his wife after she allowed another woman to live with them. Regardless of her being your best friend there should be boundaries. You never know maybe nothing happened, but you got this thanks to her being there or staying with you. Men will be men and well they don’t think until after-wards.
April 9th, 2010 at 9:55 pm
because its so hard to tell which one is telling the truth you should let this one go but for comfort let your best friend know that you talked to your husband and if indeed this happened and it happens again that you will kick his ass to the curb..as for you husband tell him that if he did do it and he does it again that you will rip of his balls and then stuff it inhis mouth…
April 9th, 2010 at 9:55 pm
I think you should trust your instincts…deep down you have a feeling on who is lying. Why would your friend of 30yrs lie? You can also find out where he got drunk…if he really did. I mean in my opinion if you want to find out the truth there is always a way you just have to make the initiative.
April 9th, 2010 at 9:55 pm
The "being drunk" part complicates things, since people act differently (and stupidly) when they are stoned. And it’s easier for them to get confused and misinterpret what really happened.
But ask yourself a few questions: Which one has a better reason to lie to you? Obviously, any husband who made a pass has a reason to deny it. But does your friend have a reason to make up the story? Does she dislike your husband? Is she jealous of him, or does she see him coming between you two friends? Would she like see him out of the picture? Or, on the other hand, does she like him a little too much? Would she like to see YOU out of the picture? Could she be honestly confused? How reliable has she been in the past with things she has told you? Has she made mistakes before in her gossip or exaggerated small things that happened? How about when she is drunk? Has anyone else told you anything like this about your husband? Ask your other friends, and tell them you want the truth.
April 9th, 2010 at 9:55 pm
you need to stop and think here…has she ever lied to you before? does she give off some kind of feeling that she is jealous of you and your husband’s relationship? could she have reasons to sabotage it? she was drunk…does she drink all the time? does she do things similar when she is drinking?she has been your friend for 30 years and could just be jealous that someone else is more important in your life than her
on the other hand…how well do you know your husband of only 2 years? has he got a ‘roaming eye’? would she be his type if you were not in the picture? has he done anything out of the ordinary toward her?
only YOU know the answer to this question, and MY feelings are that your friend is trying to sabotage…give them both the benefit of the doubt and get on with life, with one eye open for him and one for her…someone is sabotaging here…i’d be for finding out who.
April 9th, 2010 at 9:55 pm
Girlfriend you have a dilemma, but question need to be made clear 1 is your best friend living with you and your husband and if so why? all I can say go with your gut instinct both have the ability to lie you just have to go with whom you truly trust wouldn’t want to be in your shoes cause whoever you chose to believe you will certainly lose out anyway
April 9th, 2010 at 9:55 pm
OK Jazmin your guy was supposed to be drunk did you smell alcohol on his breath ? , were was he that night can anyone vouch for him that he wasn’t drinking ?did you smell booze on his breath that night ? ,What would your girlfriend have to gain by lying to you about his actions . ? perhaps she is jealous that hes in your life and she isn’t getting the attention anymore Or is it possible that he may have thought that she was you bent over fixing the TV with her back to him Do you and the lady look alike ?
So many questions only you can find the truth but remember once you show your guy that you sided against him with your girlfriend its going to get ugly because he will know that the trust is gone. Be sure and if not just put it aside if he is cheating you ll get your proof soon enough .
April 9th, 2010 at 9:55 pm
First of all, why are they swearing on your dead relatives graves, that’s horrible! Secondly, if he did do this, there is no way he will admit it. If you don’t have proof there really isn’t anything you can do. Drinking does strange things to people so write it off to that and maybe be sure just to be on the safe side, that if the 2 of them are both drinking again, you are present. I had a strange, alchol situation when my uncle died and my cousin who was always like a brother to me, infact we were closer than my own brother and I were, but we were all staying at his house after the funeral and his Mom and girlfriend had gone to bed and my husband was sleeping on the floor in the livingroom. My cousin and I had stayed up drinking and talking in the kitchen. I stood up and was standing at the sink and he came up behind me and kissed my neck and grabbed my breast. In shock,(& grossed out, I mean I’m thinking Deliverance here!) I said I had too much to drink and went to bed in the livingroom with my husband and told him what happend. He was mad and wanted to get up and do something but I convinced him it was booze and the emotions of the day. The next day we tried to leave before my cousin got up but didn’t make it and while feeling very uncomfortable, nothing was said. I could never bring it up myself and he never tried. I never told anyone else.Nothing to this day has been said and it has been 7 years now. My husband has not forgiven him but I am putting if off to too much booze. I don’t want to loose a relationship that means so much to me. We are just now getting back to where we were since his Mom just died recently but I will not be alone with him again. So, what I am saying with all my rambling, is give them both another chance since booze was involved. Try not to let the situation present itself again if possible. If it happens again talk to them both together and decide which one you trust more. I’m sorry to have gone on for so long, but it feels good to have gotten this off my chest too! So thank you and Good luck!
April 9th, 2010 at 9:55 pm
Somebodies lying. This is a very sticky situation. Have you ever had problems before with this friend of 30 yrs mentioning things like this about other men in your life? If so she might be jealous. What should have been done if this truly happened, your friend should have set you husband straight and told him off in a big big way. She should have handled this. Also, she should have never mentioned this to you. You don’t tell true friends things that will hurt them or damage their relationships, for instance a marriage. This could have been delt with without you ever knowing. She could have nipped that shit in the bud right then and there. Now this will linger with you all whether its true or not forever. Not putting all the blame on her but if this is true she could have took care of this. I bet he would have never done it to her again. Unnecessary stress for all of you. Sorry
April 9th, 2010 at 9:55 pm
First of all, YOU know these people a heck of a lot better than WE would; so our opinion should really go for nil. Secondly, it’s a matter of whom you trust more; is she a friend to the end, or is he someone you’ve never had reason to mistrust or not believe in. Has he always been trustworthy? Have you ever known him to lie? And, the same goes for her. She could be lying to rip your relationship to shreds (you’ve been friends with her for 30 yrs & married for 2 yrs). Does she have a man? She may be jealous of you. Or, vice versa, he could be lying to save face. Maybe HE is jealous of your relationship with her.
Either way, there’s three sides to every story…his, hers, and the truth. Quite possibly, they both are lying. He could have made a pass at her, and she could have "accepted" it AND reciprocate it. They both would definately be in the wrong then, right??
April 9th, 2010 at 9:55 pm
Go with yoUr gut feelings. Who’s likely to lie 2 u
I mean does Ur friend have a habit of drinking and being flirty does she over state the truth, has she ever lied about things in the past to u?
How does she feels about Ur husband when she’s sober?
Does ur husband have a habit of drinking and doing things he doesn’t remember, how does he feels about ur friend when he’s sober
Has anyone ever said ur husband flirts do u know of him flirting or being playful?
Has he ever said anything about ur friend that might make u think he likes her?
What u may need to do is get them both together ( sober) and ask them both some questions and see who may be telling the truth.
I don’t blame u for not knowing what to do because both are saying two different things.
Could it be that she made the pass at him? could it be that he thought it was u he was coming up behind and kissing.
I think the best thing to do is not allow her to drink around u and ur husband?
U should ask her to show u just how this may have happen, replay the night, but again if she was so drunk how would she remember he made a pass at her?
And also could it be that someone else came up behind her and she blacked out for a few minutes and when she got a little focus the person had already left the room and ur hubby was in the room which would make her think he did it?
Could it be that she was falling ( from being so drunk) he tried to keep her from falling helped her and she took it as he was making a pass at her
Ur gonna have to try to get to the bottom of this if u want to rest and see who u can trust
have her over one day ask her a lot of questions see if she adds subtract or multiply to the story.
Ask him about that night, see what he has to say, then get them both together without telling the other.
Ask who ever else was there if they saw or remember anything.
Dig deep sweetie
I hope u get to the bottom and it was all a mistake
April 9th, 2010 at 9:55 pm
Probably your friend is lying. Don’t listen to her.