I’ve just got married and he is gone (married ppl plz help)?
My husband and i had a falling out over me not having access to his myspace, facebook etc. He shows me signs of infidelity and i want to make sure my feelings are right or wrong. He acts as though he has something to hide and accuses me of infidelity when i don’t have the time for silly things. he has been gone since saturday and has packed all his belongings and even my laptop and computer. what in GOD’s name should i do i have been a good wife not going out with my friends because i miss him so. We just got married and i am so very depressed. was i wrong for wanting access to these silly things? I would give all of mine for the asking, even in the past i have shown him mine and he curses me saying that i had deleted my messages which was "real smart". But honest to GOD i would never if i wanted some1else i would not have married him. I feel he loves my but at the same time i feel there is something there in his emails that he does not want me to see. Guys plz help i don’t ask for too much but i am hurting.
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Tags: belongings, curses, feelings, good wife, honest to god, laptop, myspace, signs of infidelity, silly things
June 8th, 2010 at 2:56 am
If you are going to make this marriage work at all, you need to nip his control streak in the bud. He is putting his foot down and making his declaration that as man of the house, he should never be questioned. If he can’t settle for a balance of power, you don’t need him making you feel worthless for the rest of your life. Maybe you should divorce him (and get your laptop back) quickly before he shreds every last bit of self respect that you have.
June 8th, 2010 at 2:56 am
He is hiding something or it would be no big deal. Usually when they accuse you of cheating then they are the ones doing it. Good luck
June 8th, 2010 at 2:56 am
People who have nothing to hide,,,hide nothing. Mabe you were too young to get married.
June 8th, 2010 at 2:56 am
he’s deff hiding something. me and my boyfriend went through this but in the end we had eachotheres passwords but realized it was so much drama so we deleted them. myspace and facebook are just drama and will get you into trouble. try calling your man and explaining some things to him. if he wont answer leave him a really nice voicemail saying how much you miss him and that you wanna work on whats been going on. i think its stupid that he left over a fight about myspace, he must be immature and you were probably too young to get married but you did and now you have to try to make things better. you dont wanna be another couple getting a divorce. they suck!
June 8th, 2010 at 2:56 am
Your lack of trust made the relationship go badly. Trust is THEE most important thing in a relationship… your lack of it means the marriage isn’t on stable ground to begin with.
I’ve been happily married for 17 years and i have never asked for access to my husbands myspace, face-book or any account he has. Nor have do i go through his car, billfold or night stand drawer. I’ve never even thought to do those things. I trust my husband and he trusts me and has no access to my stuff either. I’ve had my hubby tell me to grab cash out of his billfold to pay for the pizza, which i have done. So it’s not off limits… nor is his going through my billfold. But to snoop is wrong and unnecessary in a good relationship.
Now, that you feel he is doing something wrong means he might have caused the trust issue to begin with. But snooping is not the answer. You are also thinking incorrectly when you say you are a good wife for not going out with your friends. People need time to themselves and with their friends in a good relationship. Staying home doesn’t’ mean you are a good wife. I’m a great wife and go out now and then with the girls. I need some girl time and he needs some guy time. Marriage is like intertwining circles. You need that marriage time in the middle, but you need you time and he needs him time as well.
As for you showing him all your stuff.. that doesn’t make you trustworthy. If you wanted to have something he didn’t know about, it would be easy to get a free account through yahoo or msn and he’d never know.
The only thing you can do at this point is try to track him down and see if he’ll consider marriage counseling with you to see if things can work out. Tell him it will be ok for him to remain out of the house while you both work this out. Tell him you’ll get counseling for your trust issues as well. Just may be that you are putting on him what others have done to you in the past.
June 8th, 2010 at 2:56 am
It isn’t love unless you are loved in return and if he’s packed up and gone without even talking to you about it…you may have to ask yourself does he love you?? My Space responsible for another break up…imagine that…
June 8th, 2010 at 2:56 am
I think it was so foolish of him to just leave like that. He have to be hiding something if he didn’t give u access to his FACEBOOK he act like u asked for his atm number. Me and my husband had this same problem, and it was resolved by giving him my passcode. And you know what I have nothing to hide because we are ONE.
June 8th, 2010 at 2:56 am
I feel bad for you, if you just got married and your already having these kind of issues, things don’t look good but hey ya’ll can overcome anything if thats what ya’ll both want. I had sort of the same issue with my husband and I. He didn’t like the idea of me having a myspace page but the only reason i liked having one was to communicate back and forth with my cousins that I don’t get to see as much as I want. WEll he thought that anyone (guys) can see it and that we’d start flirting sending messages back and forth. At first I was pist because I thought he was being ridicolous but than I put myself in his shoes and I knew I wouldn’t like it very much if he had one and just anyone could chit chat with him. So I knew that a myspace page was not worth friction in our relationship, so I deleted it. NO biggy!!! I got married young also I had barely turned 18 but I’m happy to say that we’ve been married almost 11 years now. Don’t get me wrong we have our differences but we get through them we work at them and move on. Good Luck and I hope everything works out for the best, whatever that may be!!!