Comments on: Is a man more or less of a "real man" if he forgives his wife for a single infidelity?

By: The Bobster

The Bobster — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 11:54:25 +0000

I don’t think you can use this as a litmus test of manhood. It all depends. Are you letting yourself be walked all over, or being understanding? Are you being maneuvered or making a choice? Are you forgiving because you’re too afraid to be out on your own in the big bad world, or again because you’re understanding and she’s a worthwhile woman?

A "real man" could easily go either way on this. Ask yourself why you’re doing what you’re doing and if you’re honest with yourself then you’ll know where you stand.

By: ablex

ablex — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 11:54:25 +0000

I think you should worry less about how other people define a "real man", and do what is right for you and yours.

By: Wicked Ways

Wicked Ways — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 11:54:25 +0000

If she abandons him for another man and he takes her back when she comes crawling, he’s a sap. If he takes her back and she’s pregnant, he’s a pu$$y-whipped moron.

By: Eric

Eric — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 11:54:25 +0000

A real man does what he believes is right. So it all depends on the situation.

By: ♫ Mad Luv ♫

♫ Mad Luv ♫ — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 11:54:25 +0000

i can’t say it makes him weak.. but shows lack of self worth and value.
you can forgive her and still not live with her.
I think he shows others more respect than him self.
I don’t think his choice on taking her back or not dictacts his manhood either.

By: Shannon

Shannon — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 11:54:25 +0000

Don’t care what anyone else thinks.
They can take their judgment and shove it up their arse.
It’s your life to do as you wish.
That’s a real man.

When I stayed I negotiated a new status quo agreement to my advantage.
In retrospect, I wish I had left but for reasons unrelated to the affair.

e.g. Elin Woods got a better post-nup.

In your case, I suggest a "freebie" you get to use at any future undisclosed date (and you don’t have to tell her about it ahead of time) in additional to other reasonable changes if she isn’t pulling her weight paying bills or doing housework.
Time for 50/50 across the board.
You should have divorce papers drawn up in any case and then decision is what to do with them.

You can also use this as a means to sexually dominate her depending on what you want. e.g. She’s allowed to have sex with anyone she wants but she has to beg you for permission first. You’ve got a dirty girl whether you like it and she wants to admit it or not.
If you accept the good with the bad you can make the most of it. (Want to swing?)

Think about what you want and keep in mind it’s not easy for a man to just go sleep around unless he buys it.

If you are younger and have no children - leave!!!

By: Moving On

Moving On — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 11:54:25 +0000

I don’t think either way makes you a "real man." In the end we are human and have emotional needs, if you can forgive her for her infidelity and you want to keep going then do it, if you cannot trust/forgive her any longer then you should leave. Do what feels best to you.

By: eqaddix

eqaddix — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 11:54:25 +0000

If he has sex with her mom or sister than he is truly a man. Anything else would be a pu$$y

By: KMT247

KMT247 — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 11:54:25 +0000

its nothing to do with being a REAL man …. the fact you let her think she needed more indicates your level of concern should be geared towards communication and understanding her needs. Somewhere along the line YOU let her down first… the moving on bit , i dunno… maybe you dont want to move on because now you have a level of control… or maybe you already raised the anchor a while ago and only she noticed.

By: southern belle

southern belle — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 11:54:25 +0000

I would never tell my fiance this, but one time is all he gets. if I can live with the single time, then if it happens again, then i’m gone for sure. I don’t know if I could handle it if he had another child while away. But if I could, it’s worth the try because marriage is not something that you just throw away if it can be salvaged. Don’t ever let someone walk all over you though.