I just posted the infidelity q, and thanks everyone, i didn't excpect ne1 2 answer,and quick -more info?
thanks again everyone…just some details that may help get answers…he has admittedly "made-out" w another gurl..no probs in our 5yrs til then, we are both in l8 30’s, have two kids…deletes all his phone info, uses yahoo im and has one contact, a blonde i don’t know and only contact he has…erases ims…girl won’t answer my requests..would not bring anyone to the house, FOR SURE i know that, he works late ALL the time.we live in kenosha, he works in milwaukee (30 miles) away. Ah, I know it sounds like i am nieve…i’m not. i just have to kids and want clad evidence if i am going to leave considering the kids. We really don’t fight, n allthough he admitted the make out, he has no contact w her FOR SURE, it was a while ago, i did leave for a couple weeks, he was openly addmitting about who, how where and when..(after i made contact w the gurl who’s num. i found), and very appologetic and visually and open about his remorse…negatives to lad me to now-he never displayed any signs when it occured and met up w me later that nite, works late, deletes everything, questions me out of nowhere-and i just have a gut feling like never before..hope that will help and clairify my situation for the right advice…thanks again everybody, your all very helpfull and i am greatful for u all to ake the time to give helping advice…truley!
Mail this post
Tags: ake, couple weeks, gurl, helpfull, ims, lad, milwaukee, phone info, probs, remorse, signs, yahoo
March 14th, 2010 at 12:11 pm
I would NOT stay w/ANYONE who is cheating on me. I don’t know if he’s doing it now, or did it in the past & it’s all over & done with. IF your relationship has gotten better, the two of you are getting along better, then go on from here. But if you feel it’s still going on, I would NOT put up w/it as it’s NOT going to end. I held in w/an "ex" for 12 yrs. "hoping" it would get better…WRONG! It did not get any better & he still kept cheating. I finally got the courage to tell him NO MORE, to move on, he was NOT coming home back to me again. That was 25 yrs. ago, I have not heard from him since. I did find out he divorced me w/o me even knowing it! I got a copy of the "raised seal" divorce papers after I sent them a ck. for $10 back then. I am finally happy & have been ever since I got the courage to end it once & for all. Don’t ever settle for less. He is not worth it, & you deserve far better. Do NOT accept the unacceptable. There is NO reason to do so. You CAN find happiness, you CAN make a whole new beginning for yourself. Put the past in the past & leave it there. Start a new beginning for yourself & your kids. You CAN do it if you make up your mind to it. Just MAKE SURE you do NOT have unprotected sex & be careful…best to you…:)
March 14th, 2010 at 12:11 pm
he "only made out"? what are you waiting for? Him to have kids with her? and why are you sending invites to his mistress? Pack your stuff and leave this douche bag already.
March 14th, 2010 at 12:11 pm
You might think about leaving and finding someone who cares about YOU. Protect yourself too if and when you’re intimate.
March 14th, 2010 at 12:11 pm
What is clear is two things
You suspect
He did it before.
If you think something is going on then it probably is.
The question you need to answer is not what to do about him, you can never control or change another person, the question is what are going to do about you.
You have to disentangle yourself emotionally before you get hurt.
One person cannot make intimacy. You cannot make this relationship on your own. You have to find a way to be with your world with out compromising yourself.
You have two children. You must respect their right to a stable home.
You have yourself. You must respect yourself.
You can continue to have a stable home for your children and you can withdraw emotionally and physically from the relationship.
Find a way to honor yourself. If you go against yourself you will suffer.