How do you feel about his situation?
My husband has a child that is not biologically his. He found out 13 years later and his ex wife kept telling him she would take it to her grave when he asked her repeatedly about the father of the child. He knew that the father was her sister’s husband because it was alot of signs and he had proof of them having sex when he was away on business and when he came home early from work due to being sick saw her performing oral sex on him. The thing is I want some advice on this situation. The boy is clearly having some behavioral issues and running away from home and etc. but my husband ex don’t want to tell his biological father the truth. My husband said it was times that the bio father had anger issues and he needs to step in. So my husband is going to call and let the man know. What do you think could happen in this situation? It bothers me that when my husband was divorcing her before we got married of course she wanted to take him for everything and got nothing due to her infidelity. But this man is the father of her child and she don’t want to do anything let alone tell him. I am really disturb by that! Here it is my husband took care of her, got her a house, she was half working, and won’t clean or cook. He was working and going to school and he didn’t deserve this. He is with a better women now but still I am hurt and I don’t know why it is hurting me on certain issues a little more then my husband? He is hurt too, but it is like I show it more then him. He was very upset when the test came back. Out of the four kids only three of them is his and the judge ordered her to move out of the house in 120 days and he don’t have to pay child support for the other kids due to them being adults. And the youngest one he pays 0 a month for her and the other boy is not is biologically so they are not making him pay. I am just disturb with this. Any advice. Do you think he should tell him? or what? His ex wants him to do everything for the boy as if he is his biologically and then she wants to control when he can see him. My husband said no matter what he will be in the boy life but it is a control issue unless she wants money for him. We feel she needs to get the other man involved too! Since from time to time she is still sneaking to have sex with him.
My husband did get a paternity test before the divorce, and no he doesn’t pay child support for the son that is not his biological. But he feels and I do too that the biological father needs to know that this boy is his to help with his anger issues since he had them too. My husband ex don’t want him to know and etc. I am mad that you can try to sue my husband for child support, alimony, and to keep the house. But this guy is the father of your child and you don’t want to do anything towards him. We have the written documents of the paternity I am just seeking advice on my husband telling this guy.
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Tags: 13 years, adults, anger issues, biological father, child support, having sex, infidelity, performing oral sex, proof, running away from home, signs, truth
April 26th, 2011 at 9:44 pm
You have ever right to be upset. You should also address this issue to your husband. Have a serious talk with him that this is not right. It appears that your husband is definitely a great man to care for a child that’s not his. It is right that your husband should inform the other man that he is the father of that child. Since his mother is being wicked and refuse to disclose such responsibility. Therefore, you husband have been responsible and show cause with copy of the paternity confirming the child is your husband’s son and is the other man’s child. You husband can step away now and leave the responsibility to his ex-wife and her affairs.
Also, I suggest that you get counseling for yourself to ensure this doesn’t affect your relationship with you and your husband. By getting counseling, you will be able to communicate more effectively with your husband in helping him to help the child communicate with his biological father.
I understand that you and your husband had gone through a lot, but it appears that he too needs counseling. The reason I say this is because your husband may feel some kind of guilt and makes him feel that he need to support and assist his ex-wife. Your husband does need help. The best way to help and support your husband is to encourage him to see a marriage counselor for himself and if he wants you to join him, do so. And let your husband know that you are getting counseling for yourself as well, so he would know that it’s ok to get counseling.
I trust all will work out. The truth of this whole matter is that the child needs to see his biological father.
April 26th, 2011 at 9:44 pm
chilling down my spine that I am in your shoe.
I don’t know about your husband. He must deicde on this situation.
April 26th, 2011 at 9:44 pm
If he had a question as to whether or not the child was his back when they divorced, he should have requested a paternity test and then he would not have been ordered child support. Too late to do that now, so he’s just going to have to step in and be the dad, like he has been all along.
April 26th, 2011 at 9:44 pm
what a lazy ass woman she is, i feel bad for the kid though it’s sad he doesn’t know his real dad is actually another guy… i went through wat ur going to my bf pays 450 a month in childsupport for a kids dat isn’t his he got a dna test took it to court turns out he’s not the dad n she was actually wit the kids real father so now she has to pay back all the childsupport, but were left wit broken hearts the truth hurts and nobody should b lied to i think the real father should know.
April 26th, 2011 at 9:44 pm
Tell the man that, depending on the state, she can wait up until the boy is 23 years old to name hm as the father and get up to 18 years worth of child support, all at once. It does not matter where she lives now, as she could still move in the next ten years. Ohio and Michigan have the maximum with age 23 and 18 years retroactive. Most states she has until the child turns 18, but the child has at least one more year beyond that to file, or five years in Ohio. In California, the children of David Bren file for $148 million in retroactive child support.
He needs to get his butt in gear and file a motion to force a paternity test, than set up a voluntary order, before she does and nails him to the wall. These links will help.
Http://Single_Fathers_N_Paternity.Dads-House.Org
Http://Getting_Started-Fathers_N_Family_Law.Dads-House.Org
Http://Attorneys-Hiring_The_Right_One.Dads-House.Org
http://Child_Support.Dads-House.org
Federal Child Support Enforcement Handbook for Non-Custodial Parents
http://ChildSupportRights.org
http://ChildSupportQuiz.ChildSupportRights.org
To learn a father’s rights, join Dads House in Yahoo Groups. It’s free to join, access all materials, and you associate with other fathers going through, and have already gone through, the same issues. We have an Educational Manual that teaches everything that needs to be known in addressing your legal issues. Mention your question here when asked why you want to join, as well as your state?
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/DadsHouse \\\\