Having repeat issues with girlfriend?
Long story, but Im going to make it short. Been dating this girl for 7 years, we havent always had the best relationship. Several times she has lied on several
important things such as infidelity. About two years ago, we decided to have a kid together. Love my child, she isnt doing so well though. About two months after
our child was born she started chatting with an ex over facebook. Some may think no biggie, but later she had told me she was asking him about their relationship
together. She went on to tell me that he told her he was still in love with her, really buttering her up. I told her that bothered me greatly and that I would
like for her to stop messaging him. She said she wouldnt remove him so I ask that she shut off her Facebook. She stated she would after finding out I was serious.
Later on, she reactivated it without me knowing. I had a creeper account, so I knew when she had.
Basically, she started talking with him again and finally one morning I woke up to her screaming at me. Still to this day I have no clue what it was really about.
Afterwards, she left with our child. She had started seeing this guy and even took off the ring I had given her a year into our relationship a few days after she
had left me. She would let me see my child when she wanted to see her ex. Even at a doctors appointment, she told me to take care of it by myself so she could
go to lunch with this guy. Shocked me but whatever I suppose. I guess the guy went back overseas for deployment and suddenly right as I was getting over her for
about a month, she decided she wanted to be friends with me. Not much time had passed and we got back together. Now, three months later I am starting to see the
same signs I did when she left.
Now, she has left me several times when other guys were in the picture, I would say if she was to do it again it would be the 4th time. I just want to know, should
I wait to see if the signs are nothing, or if they are real. I love her and only her, and I really want my family together always. I just dont want to wait around
to get hurt once again. Everytime in the past I tried to speak with her about such issues, I was called out for being demanding and controlling. So I dont think
talking with her on the topic will help matters. She is a stay at home mom and Im always working. On my days off Im doing odd ball jobs to make ends meet so I dont
have tons of time to watch her closely. Anybody else been in this situation and care to give some words of advice?
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Tags: appointment, biggie, clue, creeper, deployment, doctors, facebook, few days, important things, infidelity, relationship, several times, signs, three months
February 28th, 2011 at 4:57 pm
Of course you know it was a mistake to have a child with her. ‘nough said about that…
This female is immature. She already knows that she has you whenever she wants you for whatever she wants you for, isn’t that right? But being immature, she doesn’t want to settle down with just one person even if he is the father of her child. She wants what she can’t have and that’s men that have already rejected her.
That says not only immaturity, but insecurity.
If you actually want this female, then you need to take charge of the relationship instead of letting her use you as a flunky. She will NEVER respect and want you as the situation is now.
You have a legal right to see your child. I strongly suggest you go to court to do so. The court will set times and dates when you may see your child and she must comply. This takes the child away from her as a tool she can use to manipulate you. Then you adhere to what the courts have ordered. Don’t play games with her. Don’t let her get away with changing things to suit her time table. You can’t give in to her on any of this or she will walk all over you from that point on.
See her only when it has something to do with your child together. No other time -period. Why? You are showing her she can’t use you anymore. You are showing her your love and respect for yourself is stronger than your desire to be a flunky for her.
What will all that accomplish?
People tend to want what they can’t have so once she sees you mean business and she can’t manipulate you anymore, she may see you with new respect. The immature part of her might want you just because you aren’t available to her anymore. And, if you practive love and respect for yourself, you just might find you actually don’t want her anymore.
But, come what may, take responsibility for your child. Be a good father in all ways. You will never regret it.
Good luck.
February 28th, 2011 at 4:57 pm
I think you already know the answer.
From what you’ve said she sounds like a very manipulating woman.
It is admirable that you want to keep your family together but it doesn’t sound like you have a choice as she is always going to be unfaithful. She does not respect you or your feelings and only cares about herself. People have patterns and they do not change.
Be strong enough to get out
February 28th, 2011 at 4:57 pm
ive been there . my ex g friend left me two times for someone else . i am patient by nature and wed been through a lot , but i warned her that the third time i wouldnt be waiting for her . and thats what i did . you have to be strong and stand up for what you know is right .
sorry that youre kid isnt doing too well , but as for her , she aint gonna change . by any chance is she doing drugs , coz my ex g friend was and i just couldnt change her . shed be nice for a while , then violent and then cheating on me . i got tired .
id say youre so much better off forgetting about her and searching for someone else . shes not gonna change . sadly some people believe in " me first " regardless of how it affects others . you also have a kid with her , right ? im sure the kid wouldnt wonna grow up in the same house with you and youre g friend . the kid will grow up with wrong values altogether coz thats what the kid will be observing from youre g friend .
plus like you said , you work full time , so you cant always keep an eye on her . and any way you can control a kid , but not an adult . she,ll do what ever she wants as soon as youre outta sight . my advice is for you to move on , and very quickly . concentrate on youre kid and forget about her mom .
hoping this advice works out for you . ive been there and im so much better off now , without all the headaches and heart ache i was getting . ha ! my ex g friend even had an affair with my best friend , and she said it was my fault , that id told him it was okay ?@? i asked her " so if i sent a messenger to you , asking you to jump off a 10 storie building , you would ."?@?
wishing you the best , in " moving on ."