Comments on: Do we live in a society where infidelity is rife ? Have you experienced it?

By: Melancholia

Melancholia — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 07:13:29 +0000

You are ‘educated,’ sir.. Let me re-read. Our society is riddled w/infidelity.. Everyone’s said this so much I’m tired of hearing it.. BUT we’re surrounded, baragged w/it as it were. I’ve dodged the e.m. affair.. It’s just too easy.. I want to be harder (on myself) than that. I can work anything out.. I am intelligent.. that sort of idea. Let me see, what else here.. Reasons for the e.m. affair? Countless. I do not think we are biologically formed to be unfaithful.. I know, I’ve heard the quaint ‘men wish to spread their seed far and wide.’ Men do what they think they can get away with. I’ve been writing an EMT in town who told me he desires a mistress.. After I got over the shock of that.. (not interested) I tried to figure out WHY he’d cheat on the lovely Rn he’s married to? His reason? something inane like it’s.. let me see.."dangerous, such a THRILL.." (How childish!) I said as much. I feel we need to marry our ‘friends’ as hell look around you.. everyone’s bored. It’s the way it is, friend! I think it is totally impossible to see who’s having an affair (unless you ‘catch ‘em in the act, see ‘em ducking out at the cocktail party, perhaps?) We’re all supposed to act overly friendly (get points for it) in our work settings. (I am guessing, as I am a ‘lowly housewife’/past teacher here.) mel

By: dukalink6000

dukalink6000 — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 07:13:29 +0000

It’s more of a personal choice.

"The Grass is always greened" type of apporach.

It’s easier to do something new than to fix what isn’t operating right.

By: mrsd

mrsd — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 07:13:29 +0000

It’s a choice you either do or you do not…

By: imzadisun

imzadisun — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 07:13:29 +0000

I just read a study that stated 80% of marriages experience em affairs, and of that 80% only 35% make it through. I think those numbers are high but it does happen all the time.

By: grandma g

grandma g — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 07:13:29 +0000

Being unfaithful to a spouse is a choice. Most affairs happen because the unfaithful are not committed 100% to their marriage. Marriage is a life long commitment and it takes work. For better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness or health.

I am proud to say I have never even thought of cheating. I know who I am and I know who my partner is.

This is the reason you should date for two years before getting engaged. Finding out about yourself and your partner.

Good Luck!

By: free_angel

free_angel — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 07:13:29 +0000

Have you experienced an extra marital affair?
I never messed around when I was married but the ex did.

If so what are the reasons for the affair?
He did it because he wanted to. A "valid reason" is just a fancy word for an excuse.

Do you think we can be biologically formed to be unfaithful to our partners?
Some people who cheat use this as an excuse to cheat. People know right from wrong and everyone is responsible for their own actions.

If your in a social scenario could you spot those who maybe conducting an affair and if so what are the signs?
Yep. Watch them when they think no one is watching them. Body language tells alot about a person… eye contact, winks, touching between them, whispered talks, etc.

By: Goodspeed

Goodspeed — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 07:13:29 +0000

There are many reasons for affairs within a marriage, I’d like to comment on the physcological implications…I beleive the effects of those women who have been sexually abused at an early age , generally by a family member, plant a seed of dysfunction within their emotional being for the rest of their lives, and if they do not seek assistance that will resolve or at least better understand such abusive behavior at such a young age can create emotional baggage that can and will lead to many dysfunctional social issues, including infidelity within their marriage. I don’t think they can view intimacy as a virtue, more so as a tool, someone elses desire..and they have very little regard to themselves, perhaps because they feel it was taken from them at such a early age.

By: serenity113001

serenity113001 — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 07:13:29 +0000

Yup, been on both ends of the whole affair thing and in my circumstance with my ex it would definitely have to be chalked up to three reasons why it happened…immaturity, lack of communication, and just flat out being selfish. As for this whole thing being biological in nature, maybe it is and maybe it is not but don’t just use this to justify it since most people can also differentiate between what’s right and what’s wrong (they just would rather put their own desires first). We could sit around all day blaming it on biological factors, society, blah blah blah but when it really comes down to it, unfortunately it is the person who makes the decision to be unfaithful. In a social scenario you arent really going to be able to point them out because once they aren’t with their significant other or the ring is off, they are just some person looking for a good time (just like every other single person that is out doing the same).

By: 4shogurl06

4shogurl06 — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 07:13:29 +0000

Hey i have been there. my husband cheated on me and look honey it is something that you choose to do. he had everything sex every night, love, money, i gave him the world and he still cheated. that was his decision, but now he is afraid that ill do the same to him but he doesn’t know that it is just not in my heart to do it to him out of love and respect. some signs is always leaving home for any reason to get out and away from the spouse. it happens but you must live with it. being married you are in it for better or for worst.