Coping With Infidelity
Unresolved infidelity and marital affair often results in a stagnant impasse. Closure of the extramarital affair often is crucial in designing a new relationship.
Learn from these real life extramarital affair coaching scenarios.
In the first section the person struggling with the marital infidelity summarizes the scenario or concern and what he/she would like to say to his/her cheating spouse.
I then outline some goals that help him/her break free from the affair.
The last and important section gets at shifting the focus away from the spouse/partner to him/her self. In other words, what does all this mean for the person on the receiving end of an extramarital affair? After that mental shift (which is NOT easy for someone in the pain and turmoil of perhaps losing one’s spouse, family, and home) I, the coach, offer phrases that he/she can relay to his/her spouse in a way that speaks directly of his/her concern and has the best chance of being heard and getting positive results.
Section 1: The "offended spouse" says:
I spend more time by myself, thinking about myself. I do not trust my partner yet after 3 years. I think about my partner’s affair daily. I stay for my children’s sake.
Section 2: Personal goals suggested by the coach
Continue spending time in reflection. Keep a journal, if you like to write. Give some structure to your thinking, so you can see movement.
Section 3: What the affair means for the "offended spouse" and what he/she REALLY wants to say to his spouse/partner having the affair:
I’m trying to understand what happened.
I need some closure, and I would like us to work toward that so that it feels good (or better) for both of us.
What is your situation? Describe your situation. Let it flow. Don’t hold back. Then, ask yourself, "What does this marital mean for ME?" What impact does his/her extramarital affair have on my feelings, thoughts and actions? Then rehearse approaching your spouse/partner with phrases that convey the meaning and impact of the infidelity for YOU.
About the author:
Dr. Huizenga, the Infidelity Coach, offers infidelity help and relationship advice for coping with extramarital affairs and marital infidelity at: Break Free-From-the-Affair.com and Infidelity-help.com. Get articles and free downloads on emotional infidelity, coping with infidelity, the cheating spouse, signs of an affair, surviving infidelity and more.
| By Dr. Robert Huizenga Published: 12/30/2006 |
Coping with Infidelity - How can I function when I’m so devastated …
Devastated is the word most used to describe the feelings you have after finding out about the affair. The struggle isn’t really being able to function, but the challenge is to simply “survive”.
Infidelity Help - Coping with Infidelity: Not Alone in Tolerations
Coping with infidelity often means a person tolerates or puts up with much more than s/he thought possible. This list of what those who face infidelity tolerate help one feel less alone.
Is this feeling a normal part of the healing process? - Talk About …
I just wondered if any of you coping with infidelity and reconciling, every have times when you think why? Why not just end it and not deal with the baggage?
This helped me I hope it can help you! - Talk About Marriage
Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Focused Topics »Coping with Infidelity » This helped me I hope it can help you! Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.
Mail this post
Tags: affair, coping, extramarital, infidelity, with
Leave a Reply