condom question for ladies and gentlemen?
facts - you are newly engaged, but in a LTR w/ this man for over a year. you do not use condoms. you both travel quite a bit for work. no signs of infidelity. relationship good (he just asked you to marry him).
ladies, if you saw a condom in his shave kit when you went in the bathroom after him (and no, you weren’t digging around in it) what would be your first reaction? what would you do? would you ask him wtf?
gentlemen, with the above stated facts, what would you explanation be? if you were a woman, would you believe your story?
what should i do/say?
thoughtful answers appreciated.
question - WHY should you ALWAYS have condoms, if you don’t use them? i really don’t understand that. thanks!
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Tags: condom, condoms, gentlemen, ltr, relationship, signs of infidelity, thoughtful answers
August 27th, 2010 at 9:43 pm
I am a guy, so I am going to go for the prompt you have for men’s viewpoints So here goes:
The first thing I would do if you saw a condom is check the date on it. This might have been something that he kept for nostalgia’s sake. Another possibility is that he might have had them in there for a long time and just hasn’t cleaned out his shave kit in a while.
I also know guys who use condoms to masturbate with, and they actually buy the ones for solo use at the 99cent store,and even keep them in a separate drawer from the regular ones they might use.
I myself am currently single, and its been a while since ive been with anyone, but I still keep condoms on hand; one, because ya never know, and two, because sometimes my friends need them so I give them out.
I would say that you could always go and grab one of the condoms, open it, unroll it and blow it up like a balloon. tie it off and come out of the bathroom yelling something like "super-spike!!" while hitting it towards him. His reaction will tell all. Just announce "So we do still have a use for condoms!"" playfully and try and start a game.
See how it goes. You might have a hysterical evening of over-the bed condom volley ball, or maybe he will just laugh and pop it.
Just take a look every now and then to see if he has replaced the condoms. If he does, just keep blowing them up like balloons and doing silly things with them. Sooner or later, he will see that he won’t get away with keeping them on hand.
if you find any other evidence of condoms, or discrepancies in his behavior it might be worth asking him if something is going on.
Good luck and just maybe you guys might have a funny story to tell about condom volleyball.
August 27th, 2010 at 9:43 pm
I wouldn’t freak out, we don’t use condoms. But he still keeps them in the house.
August 27th, 2010 at 9:43 pm
I would ask him why he has a rubber?
also I would make damnn sure I was on the pill.
August 27th, 2010 at 9:43 pm
Doesn’t matter if you use condoms or not, you should always have one anyways. I wouldn’t make much of this situation.
August 27th, 2010 at 9:43 pm
If he doesn`t wear condoms with you, then who is he wearing them with?
August 27th, 2010 at 9:43 pm
I would ask him-but I am the jealous type!
August 27th, 2010 at 9:43 pm
It seems a bit suspicious if you ask me. If you guys never use condoms, there would be no reason for him to have one. Although, if you guys have been together for over a year, there should be trust. I would sit down and talk about it. Listen to his side of the story and see what he says. Don’t automatically jump to conclusions, it may be old. Its a tough decision, because you don’t want to miss out on a good thing, but you also don’t want to be taken advantage of. Sit down and talk about it or wait for other signs!
August 27th, 2010 at 9:43 pm
he probably wants to have anal sex. and all guys have a rubber no matter what
August 27th, 2010 at 9:43 pm
I would ask. Me and my bf don’t use condoms (Im on the pill) but we do usually have a backup contraceptive in the house like condoms or sponge, but I know about them!
He shouldn’t have a need for them…
August 27th, 2010 at 9:43 pm
well im a fm in my 30,s. my first reaction would be urs! is he cheating? since u both travel who knows right? But…and this is too a possiblity. some men use condoms when they are practicing self pleasure. its easy and a quick clean up. do u know he well enough to know that this is a possibility? if u dont think it is then id just be honest and ask why it was in his bag. hope this helped.
August 27th, 2010 at 9:43 pm
well I would say that is not good and he is trying to or does fool around.
YES I would ask him what’s this?
If he gets mad at you for finding it, he is caught and deflecting the issue onto you "snooping".
You both travel a lot makes fidelity hard. I am being honest. Men are men.
August 27th, 2010 at 9:43 pm
I wouldn’t be alarmed but I’d be concerned. I would ask him wtf indeed. I’d ask him about it & regardless of his response I’d get tested to be safe. He may be offended but i’d explain my concerns & how it’s better to know and be safe. Trust is a major component so always be upfront. Good luck.
August 27th, 2010 at 9:43 pm
I asked my husband about this, and we both agreed that if you guys haven’t been using them, it is very probable he is using them with someone else. I think you should delve a little deeper into this before confronting him, as he will most definitely lie and then be onto you. Check his cell phone, try to read his emails; do a little detective work and find out what’s going on.
August 27th, 2010 at 9:43 pm
OK, all the usual answers have been provided so I’ll throw my own unique answer. It could all to be down to masturbation.
When a woman masturbates it’s generally a lot less messy than when a bloke does. Now if you’re both travelling due to work quite a lot he may simply have the condom there as an aid to masturbation if he feels horny. He climaxes into the condom and then he doesn’t have any ‘mess’ to clean up. Also, some guys find that masturbation with a condom is better and more enjoyable (the term is called a ‘posh handjob’).
All in all though, I believe you should ask why he has condoms on him, to put your mind at ease. My wife and I both have condoms in the house, but we don’t use contraception as we’re trying for a baby. We have them mainly if we’re staying somewhere (like a friend’s house) and we don’t want to make a mess of the bed we’re sleeping in.
Just because he has them, doesn’t mean he’s using them though.
August 27th, 2010 at 9:43 pm
Considering that I have all kinds of crap in my make-up bag that pre-dates my marriage (I seriously think you could do an archaeological excavation in there), I would assume that was the case with him, too. But I’d have to look at the expiration date on the condom to make that determination.
If they were "fresh", I would assume he was looking to get some on the side, and it is with this assumption in mind that I would talk to him about the nature of our relationship, and the expectations we have of each other.