Claims he has told me truth about past infidelity but angrily refuses a lie detector. Why??
Husband finally admitted this past December to visiting massage parlors for rub and tugs, but claims that was all it was..no sex.I also got the phone records and found he called a craigslist whore..he claims her machine answered and he left a message but she never called him back and then he felt so gulty he threw the number away.I still don’t believe him and want him to take a lie detector ….he gets very angry and tells me he doesnt want to. I feel thats a sure sign of guilt…opinions??
Wow…Thanks for so many answers..for all of you telling me to leave..let me add a few details…We are currently living in my moms house..she is elderly and we moved in after my dad passed away..so I am not going anywhere..if we had still been living in our own home I would have left months ago.I have told him to get out abt 10 times…he just doesnt leave.He would have to run home to mommy and he doesnt want her to know any of this ….I told him counseling or divorce..we started the marriage fitness program and he is really trying and I know he hasnt cheated again..but the problem is within myself..I know there are things he still hasnt told me…a lie detector would put my mind to rest..but like one of you said..he knows if I know the whole truth the marriage is over.We also have a 9 year old son who adores his dad..and I know how devastating this would be for him. If I didnt have him I would have kicked his ass out months ago.
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Tags: counseling, dad, divorce, fitness program, guilt, lie detector, marriage, massage parlors, mommy, rub and tugs, visiting massage, whole truth, whore
May 23rd, 2010 at 2:39 am
This dude is lying to you big time and I think you know it. He got some at the massage parlor and from Craiglist.
May 23rd, 2010 at 2:39 am
if you are already pulling phone records and lie detector tests, why should he help you dig his own divorce grave?
May 23rd, 2010 at 2:39 am
Does your decision on whether or not to stay with a liar hinge on the fact of whether or not he had actual vaginal intercourse? Wow. I think the bigger issue here is that he 1) lied to you and betrayed you; and 2) you can’t trust a single word he says even after he confessed and you are presumably trying to put the incident behind you.
How are you planning to run your relationship in the future? Every time he comes home half and hour late after work, you’re gonna hook him up to a lie detector? If you can’t give him at least some benefit of the doubt, this just isn’t gonna work…
May 23rd, 2010 at 2:39 am
I wouldn’t even worry about the lie detector. I’d have left after the "rubs and tugs." I’m sorry. He is disrespectful. He called a left a message for a whore! Come on! What else do you need to hear before you grab your pride and walk out the door?!
May 23rd, 2010 at 2:39 am
LOL…..Someone other than you jerked him off and he says ‘but there was no sex’. Since when is a handjob not sex.? No doubt since the Clinton/Lewinsky fiasco I guess.
I think the massage parlor visits and the craigslist hooker are the tip of the iceberg. And yes…..his response regarding the polygraph is classic guilt. You don’t need a polygraph done….he’s already shown deception.
And remember..where’s there’s smoke…there’s fire.
May 23rd, 2010 at 2:39 am
Of course it is guilt, he was wrong and he doesn’t want you to know the WHOLE truth…because he knows that you will probably leave him.
May 23rd, 2010 at 2:39 am
Just leave, why put yourself thru anymore of his abuse. What a horrible thing to do to you. There is someone out there that will love and respect you and not put you thru hell, which is what he is doing to you now. He is definately doing something wrong behind your back and I don’t need a lie detector to prove it—your story is proof enough. Good luck.
May 23rd, 2010 at 2:39 am
yeah he’s guilty, if he’s dont it once, hell do it again,
leave him, youll never trust him the same, and you deserve better.
May 23rd, 2010 at 2:39 am
Yes, it’s a sure sign, but also, you have to keep in mind that lie detectors aren’t even 100% accurate.
Your hubby does have a problem. You don’t need a lie detector to comfirm this.
Do you see true love for you in his eyes? If so, give him a chance to change. Get him to counceling. Try spiceing up the bedroom. Men may like having a red head one day a blonde the next, so go buy some wigs and try to please him with the sexual fantasies and kinky stuff he wants.
May 23rd, 2010 at 2:39 am
If you don’t trust him, why don’t you just leave him?
Quite frankly, if I was finally telling the truth, and my spouse keeps doubting me and pressuring me to prove my honesty, I would be very angry and pissed off too.
May 23rd, 2010 at 2:39 am
My opinion is this…If you don’t trust his answers (which you have every reason not to) why subject him to a lie detector test? Why not just pack your stuff and leave? Is it because no matter what the results are you aren’t going anywhere? He has every right to be angry for you to request a lie detector test. It’s ridiculous. I mean seriously, if you don’t trust him that much, then why are you even with him?
May 23rd, 2010 at 2:39 am
I would have him get an AIDS test for the next year or so also and test him for STD. I certainly wouldn’t lay down with him as he may be contaminated.
May 23rd, 2010 at 2:39 am
He has cheated..he has lied …what more proof do you need?????? Leave his sorry butt! You are as foolish as he is if you stay with him.