Can I use wifes infidelity and alcoholism in custody case?
My alchoholic wife has left me and our 2 children for the second time. She is now seeing a deadbeat alcoholic. She voluntarily signed full custody of our 10 yr. old son and shared custody of 5 yr. old daughter to me. Wife has been told by her doctor a few times that she needs to go to rehab to dry out, she also take anti depressants. She has also been told by 2 different alcohol counselers that she needed rehab which she never done. I want to get full custody of my 5 yr. old cause of unhealthy situation at her mothers and wondered if her medical records and counselers records can be used in custody case at Family Court.
Mail this post
Tags: alcohol, anti depressants, custody case, full custody, medical records, second time
May 4th, 2010 at 6:47 pm
alot will depend on the state. you can have a psycological evaluation done and declare her unfit. had it done to ex wife in 97 still have full custody of my three daughters. wish you best of luck. contact me if you want more info or insight
May 4th, 2010 at 6:47 pm
Yes, you can. Even if she doesn’t physically hurt the children ~ the things she is doing would be considered mental neglect.
May 4th, 2010 at 6:47 pm
yes. yes u can. good luck
May 4th, 2010 at 6:47 pm
If I were on the jury I would take this into consideration.
May 4th, 2010 at 6:47 pm
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Aq8V4Bd8fF6WCcYnFU8axz_sy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20071216131635AA5Uo98
May 4th, 2010 at 6:47 pm
Yes
May 4th, 2010 at 6:47 pm
yes, definitely……throw everything you have at her because the child needs a good healthy environment….alcoholics can’t provide that.
May 4th, 2010 at 6:47 pm
Yes, it validates that she is unstable and unwilling to get help.
May 4th, 2010 at 6:47 pm
Yes. The alcoholism. not the infidelity.
May 4th, 2010 at 6:47 pm
you bet.. you can even get it to were she don’t have reg visitation.. just supervised ones..
May 4th, 2010 at 6:47 pm
Yes! And I hope you do get full custody. Any woman that would treat her child’s father like that doesn’t deserve to be a mother. She can’t love her kids fully without loving you too.
May 4th, 2010 at 6:47 pm
for the kids sake you better use that in your case or they will be in an unhealthy enveronment anytrime they are near their mother
May 4th, 2010 at 6:47 pm
Absolutely! You HAVE to have good reasons for wanting custody of the child or the judge will just dismiss the case.
May 4th, 2010 at 6:47 pm
I heard they can subpoena doctors and obtain the records. I don’t really know but it sounds like she needs a lot of help and support and definitely doesn’t need the children with her.
May 4th, 2010 at 6:47 pm
YES for the safety and well being of the child be sure to bring these things up and be sure the judge knows that her behavior is not conducive to good parenting at this point request"temporary" custody until she completes rehab-she may never go and that will be to your advantage in the future-good luck
May 4th, 2010 at 6:47 pm
yes …your lawyer can get them….good luck to you…….stay tough
May 4th, 2010 at 6:47 pm
They have to be real documents not just an opinion. Your lawyer should be able to use this information. I would think that the fact that she gave you full custody of one child and shared of the other, that the judge will look at it as her not really wanting to be a full time parent. Good luck.
May 4th, 2010 at 6:47 pm
They are factors but they won’t help much.
Howether, you are in a position of power at the minute, with regards to kids, posession really is nine tenths of the law. Look after them and look after them well. Get into a really good routine, register the kids with a doctor and dentist near you, in a school, all in your name as the sole guardian, I know that you have shared custody of your girl, but you are the main parent surely as you have full time with your son. Weave as many webs as you can to secure her there. It will be much harder for her to get her from you.
She obviously isn’t stable at the min, how does your son feel to be abandoned like this? It’s an odd set up, but any decent lawyer will be able to fight good for this.
Good luck, do it for us decent Dads.
May 4th, 2010 at 6:47 pm
Any judge that wouldn’t let you get custody of your kids when she is like that is out of their mind. And the fact that she is seeing a DEADBEAT ALCOHOLIC just shows that she just doesn’t care. So, I would definitely bring up her medical records. I bet all she wants is child support money and thats it. Sorry you have to go through this. Good luck and i hope you get your kids back.
May 4th, 2010 at 6:47 pm
Yes on infidelity only from the perspective of she is bringing the child around people with addictions (like alcohol). In terms of the moral implications, the courts could care less.
Yes on the alcoholism and her refusal to get treatment as recommended by medical professionals — this is very very powerful in the custody process.
Good luck.
May 4th, 2010 at 6:47 pm
You will need an attorney to obtain that kind of information as they would have to legally request it from her doctor/counselor. I am currently going through a divorce and I need to request some similar documents and my attorney is going to have to get them for me. Keep in mind that this isn’t going to be easy. My husband tried using the alcohol card on me in court which at this point was just an allegation as he was trying anything to get full custody of our son. He had nothing to back this up. The judge still awarded us both joint custody. So you REALLY should get these documents to support your allegations. Also, if your wife by some ODD STRANGE CHANCE IN HELL should go to rehab and "dry up", this will hurt your chances of getting full custody of your 5 year old. The judge will focus on what is being done NOW and not so much in the past. They also encourage both parents to be involved as much as possible with their children.
Good luck to you.
May 4th, 2010 at 6:47 pm
I’m no lawyer but I would think so. Please please please whatever you do though, put the kids and their feelings FIRST. Do what you have to to get custody if you truly feel she is in danger, but never talk about Mom in a derogatory way in front of the kids! There is no excuse for that. You hurt them a lot more than her. If they want to know what’s going on say something like "Mom is sick and needs some time to get better."
May 4th, 2010 at 6:47 pm
Most certainly!! The overriding thought in our society and the court system is the benefit and well-being of our children.PERIOD (thats a big one)
If you are providing a safe and healthy atmosphere at home, ANY judge will be able to see this.
I have raised my son alone and he is now a strong healthy young man. You can, too.
Focus, therefore, all your outward concerns toward the kids, not their mom.
May 4th, 2010 at 6:47 pm
John, Definetly, just have on paper !
May 4th, 2010 at 6:47 pm
OF COURSE!! I dont know WHY she would fight you on it - she obviously cannot take care of herself, let alone kids!! Get statements from witnesses, neighbors, schools, her work mates - getting medical records might not be that easy to get.
May 4th, 2010 at 6:47 pm
yes more the alcoholism than the infadelity it seems everyone cheats anymore so that one gets overlooked alot. Good luck hope you get custody for the kids sake.
May 4th, 2010 at 6:47 pm
You should be able to get Custody. The Courts Do what is in the Best Interest of The Child. SO… I’d get yourself an Attorney and File for Custoday on the grounds you stated above. Your Children don’t need to be around their Mother, while she is in a self destructive mode. Good Luck !!!
May 4th, 2010 at 6:47 pm
The infidelity doesn’t matter much (to the courts unfortunately)other than it shows her lack of character which will help tilt the scale in your direction. The alcoholism is another story. Have your attorney supoena the alcohol counselors to testify. Does she have any DUI’s? That would help your case. GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!
May 4th, 2010 at 6:47 pm
No matter what state you are in a lawyer can have a field day with a drunk that sleeps around. If I had to guess what money she has she pisses away in a bottle and she can’t afford a lawyer so you should be in good shape.
May 4th, 2010 at 6:47 pm
anything can be used as long as it is a true documents… the courts are only looking into the child’s best interest, so yes these documents can help you .
May 4th, 2010 at 6:47 pm
alcohol - yes, it affects her ability to raise the kids. infidelity - no, that is a divorce issue, not a custody one.